November 16, 2019
It’s 4:08 in the morning and I can’t sleep. My mind is thinking about logos, t-shirts, fabrics and trims, oh my. Surely, this must be a line from a song. All kidding aside, I see this number sequence a lot. The angel meaning is actually ringing true for me, as these are most auspicious numbers as you can see. Thank God.
I have been busily working away behind the scenes, following my intuition, as far as creating a new business for about a year now. When I look back at my Journal that I actually write in, right there, smack dab in the middle of the page is an idea that I had for something that I wanted to create to heal and help people. Who knew that I would actually take it as far as I have.
This has not been an easy journey because this means I have to get the ideas that are swirling around in my head, out onto paper and then take those steps to create something in the physical…bring it all into the 3-D, by making patterns and prototypes. There is a lot that goes into creating a business that I am finding out about now. It is exhausting because there are so many parts involved that requires me to have faith that I will find the supplies that I need to create this product and that the right people with the appropriate skills will find me, or vice versa.
I am familiar with this creative process in a way because I was married to someone who did the very same thing that I am doing now. The product line is completely different but they both carry sewn products. Even though I never was involved in the real production of his products, I took in a lot of information by what I witnessed him doing when he was creating. He laid out, cut the fabric and prepared kits for the sewers to sew later.
My ex-husband’s products are far more complicated than mine. If I ever become discouraged and have moved to a place where I have to beat down the voices that say, ‘You will never find the material at the price you want or the right employees, I just think of him and realize that If he can do it, then I know I can, too.
I appreciate the time I had spent in Florida that began last September and lasted until Nate died in April of this year. I don’t think the ideas would have had a chance go flow to my consciousness if I was in Colorado, stuck in the mode of putting out the fires with my youngest son and not taking the time to replenish and care for me.
One of the last conversations I had with Nate was in March, or so. I was picking up that his energy was real low. I told him that I didn’t know if I should buy a house or focus on creating this idea that I had. It was hard to express what I wanted to do to someone who has been successful with his own endeavors and was known in the family to have the Midas touch, as far as real estate is concerned.
His answer was not something i wanted to hear. “Don’t buy a house and get a business plan.” He sounded very authoritarian when he said that. I don’t take well to people bossing me around. especially an older brother who I felt did not seem to see me beyond my role as ‘mother,’ or even his little sister.
I did not understand his logic, but decided not to protest. I was thinking, ‘No, I have to create the products first because I don’t know how much all of the materials will be. And, I need numbers for a business plan.’
I definitely feel that Nate is watching out for me. We have had a few conversations since he has passed. I have been dialed into the unseen world for sometime now. So, it is not a real surprise that our connection is still there for me to tap into when I need him. He gives me bigger picture advice about my siblings when things get ugly and uncomfortable between us when handling settling his estate. But, more on that later.