Now that January has dwindled down to a mere few days, I hope it is not too late to wish you all a Happy New Year. It’s only January 28th, so better late than never! Maybe this is where I should admit that I get overwhelmed with the details of life sometimes and shut down a bit.
Last year by the time Thanksgiving approached, I was getting that feeling you get when you are sick of being sick, lounging around, feeling grouchy because of too much babying. What was I going to do with my life? Wondering didn’t last long. Soon my energy and attention became focused toward creating things and writing down all my ideas, until I realized that I might be able to make a go of a new business endeavor.
I was on a blogging roll for a while, then the holidays snuck upon me. Christmas presents for my kids (okay, young adults) were wrapped individually and shipped off in big boxes to their homes in Colorado. I thought I was really on top of things. Then I had to shift myself, both physically and emotionally, out of my sister’s condo near the ocean to one of the rooms in her home, the day after Christmas.
Snowbirds, including the one who would be taking my place at the condo, had flown in flocks to town from the North. My private, quiet sanctuary was no longer so tranquil, the closer the holidays approached. I was done resting anyhow.
All of these things seemed to tip the apple cart over, causing my words for my blog to run dry.
On New Year’s Eve, my sister’s husband created a bonfire for all of us to snuggle around, warming our hands at the flames and tossing in wadded pieces of paper that held the words of all the things we wanted to release. I thought back to the invitation I had taken the year before in September, and how much my life, as well as my son’s (so I hear) had changed since I drove off into the unknown. Okay, it wasn’t the unknown, it was my sister’s house, but I had to travel a heck of a long way to get there.
Florida wasn’t exactly new territory since I had lived here with another older sister for a year when I was fifteen, after my mum abandoned me, and again at twenty when I was lost and landed at my other sister’s house in Florida. I couldn’t wait to leave both times, so I wasn’t optimistic about a change of heart many decades later.
Last year, in September, I heard the call to leave the situation I was in for a good six months before I finally made my exit. More than a few times, I woke to the thought, “The time is now.” I took that to mean it was time for me to begin writing again. As certain experiences escalated for the worse between my son and me, I realized it was time to leave the stage, to avoid provoking a health issue for myself.
Last year was filled with opportunities to recognize my power, speak my truth in a calm manner, and trust and believe in myself and my invisible helpers who nudged me with a wake-up call to again leave behind all that I had known. Surrendering to the outcome and to the details of how all this would work out with my son took blind faith and trust.
Tomorrow morning, I will be flying back to Colorado to visit my sons. I feel much stronger now. It has been over four months since I went away. I have a round-trip ticket to come back to Florida, so I will have to stay strong to keep myself from sliding into unhealthy patterns.
I am looking forward to forging a new relationship with my younger son, and I will support him on his journey to heal. I will be making vegan meals with my older son who lives in Basalt, in the mountains. I imagine I will be driving up there to see for myself how he has fleshed out a life that is healthy and balanced. We all have come a long way since that night nearly five years ago when our world unraveled and changed us all, for better or worse.
My leaving forced everyone to get strong on their own and throw away our old scripts, so that each of us could take the stage of our own life.
It is my greatest wish that this year brings you deep healing, support, joy, abundance, and unexpected magic. On a global level, we are all seeing the pendulum swing from one extreme to another. Our individual contribution, meaning our thoughts and the choices we make that form our lives, affects our families, our communities, and in turn, the collective. Do you like what you see? If not, amplify your light energy towards people, places, and things that you want to see become stronger and more pronounced. If you are like me, you are here on earth at this time to strengthen the grid that connects us all with love. In this next year, I will be looking back to simpler times, and I plan to bring those old ways into my life.
Maybe I will let go of the cell phone first.